I consider myself a fairly intelligent person... I'm no genius, but I'm no slouch either.  I know about relationships, about logic, etc... but that doesn't seem to make a difference because my heart doesn't give a shit about what is going on with my brain.

Why do I miss him so much? Why does this hurt so bad? I was sorely tempted to stay in Las Vegas... and now that I'm back here in WA, all I can think of is going back to Vegas to be with him... and I know it makes no sense and I know that this is supposed to be one of those "phases" of seperation. I've read the literature, the self-help books, the "expert" articles... but what I know doesn't matter because my emotions don't care what the self-help gurus say, and my heart doesn't know what a phase is... it just knows that this pain is like nothing I've ever felt.

It's been nearly two months and even though I know that this will make me a stronger person, a better mother, and someday a better wife... right now I sleep and dream of having his arms around me again.... and I want to hate him for it... but I love him too much to hate him.

Gnarls Barkley
"Crazy" (from the debut album "St. Elsewhere

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place
Even your emotions had an echo and so much space

And when you're out there without care
Yeah I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me Crazy
Does that make me Crazy
Does that make me Crazy
Possibly

And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice
Come on now
who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you
think you are, ha ha ha bless your soul
you really think you're in control

I think you're Crazy
I think you're Crazy
I think you're Crazy
Just like me

My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on the limb
All I remember is thinking I want to be like them.
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little
It looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done

But Maybe I'm Crazy
Maybe you're Crazy
Maybe we're Crazy
Probably